đ https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/34921573-lost-connections
Chapters
Part 1: The Crack in the old story (27)
The Wand (28)
With any drug there always comes a story:
But Irving was also one of the leading experts in the world in a field of science that began right back in Bath when John Haygarth first waved his false wand. At that time, the English doctor had realized that when you give a patient a medical treatment, you are really giving her two things. You are giving her a drug, which will usually have a chemical effect on her body in some way. And you are giving her a storyâabout how the treatment will affect her.
Prozac and some false research:
He learned right away that the drug companies hadâfor yearsâbeen selectively publishing research, and to a greater degree than he expected. For example, in one trial for Prozac, the drug was given to 245 patients, but the drug company published the results for only twenty-seven of them. Those twenty-seven patients9 were the ones the drug seemed to work
The Hamilton scale:
Scientists measure the depth of someoneâs depression using something named the Hamilton scale, which was invented by a scientist named Max Hamilton in 1959. The Hamilton scale ranges from 0 (where youâre skipping along merrily) to 51 (where youâre jumping in front of trains). To give you a yardstick: you can get a six-point leap in your Hamilton score if you improve your sleeping patterns. What Irving found is that, in the real data that hadnât been run through a PR filter, antidepressants do cause an improvement in the Hamilton scoreâ*they do make depressed people feel better. Itâs an improvement of 1.8 points*.
Irvin Kirsch:
When Irving Kirsch discovered that these serotonin-boosting drugs were not having the effects that everyone was being sold, he beganâto his surpriseâto ask an even more basic question. Whatâs the evidence, he began to wonder, that depression is caused primarily by an imbalance of serotonin, or any other chemical, in the brain? Where did it come from?
Imbalance (38)
After twenty years researching this at the highest level, Irving has come to believe that the notion depression is caused by a chemical imbalance is just âan accident of history,â produced by scientists initially misreading what they were seeing, and then drug companies selling that misperception to the world to cash in. And so, Irving says, the primary explanation for depression offered in our culture starts to fall apart. The idea you feel terrible because of a âchemical imbalanceâ was built on a series of mistakes and errors. It has come as close to being proved wrong, he told me, as you ever get in science. Itâs lying broken on the floor, like a neurochemical Humpty Dumpty with a very sad smile.
- Depression cause: Irving views the “chemical imbalance” explanation as an “accident of history.”
- Origin: Resulted from initial scientific misinterpretations and subsequent pharmaceutical company promotion.
- Cultural understanding: Current primary explanation for depression is falling apart.
- Chemical imbalance theory: Largely discredited in science.
- Current state: Theory is “lying broken on the floor.”
The Grief Exception (50)
But this blasts a hole in the rudder of the boat the psychiatrists writing the DSM have been sailing in for so long. Suddenly, lifeâwith all its complexityâstarts to flood into diagnosing depression and anxiety. It canât just be a matter of chemical imbalance, as verified by checklists of symptoms. It would have to be seen as a response to your circumstances.
Depression as a disconnection from ourselves, from others:
As she said this, I told her that in thirteen years of being handed ever higher doses of antidepressants, no doctor ever asked me if there was any reason why I might be feeling so distressed. She told me Iâm not unusualâand itâs a disaster. The message my doctors gave meâ*that our pain is simply a result of a malfunctioning brainâmakes us, she told me, âdisconnected from ourselves, which leads to disconnection from others*.â
Mental health should be become emotional health:
In most cases, Joanne says, we would have to stop talking about âmental healthââwhich conjures pictures of brain scans and defective synapsesâand start talking about âemotional health.â â*Why do we call it mental health?â she asked me. âBecause we want to scientize it. We want to make it sound scientific. But itâs our emotions.*â
Depression as a form of grief:
I was beginning to think there was something significant about the fact that grief and depression have identical symptoms. Then one day, after interviewing several depressed people, I asked myself: What if depression is, in fact, a form of griefâfor our own lives not being as they should? What if it is a form of grief for the connections we have lost, yet still need?
The First Flag on the Moon (57)
Part 2: Disconnection: Nine Causes of Depression
Picking up the flag (69)
Cause one: Disconnection from meaningful work (71)
As a result of this research, and the science it opened up, âthe notion of what constitutes stress at work has undergone a revolution,â Michael explains. The worst stress for people isnât having to bear a lot of responsibility. It is, he told me, having to endure âwork [that] is monotonous, boring, soul-destroying; [where] they die a little when they come to work each day, because their work touches no part of them that is them.â Joe, then, in his paint shop, by this real standard, had one of the most stressful jobs there is. âDisempowerment,â Michael told me, âis at the heart12 of poor healthââphysical, mental, and emotional.
- Stress at work: Definition revolutionized by research findings.
- Worst stress factor: Monotonous, boring, soul-destroying work.
- Impact: Work that doesn’t engage individuals leads to physical, mental, and emotional health issues.
Cause two: Disconnection from other people (83)
On being “homesick”:
When we talk about home today, we mean just our four walls and (if weâre lucky) our nuclear family. But thatâs never been what home has meant to any humans before us. To them, it meant a communityâa dense web of people all around us, a tribe. But that is largely gone. Our sense of home has shriveled so far and so fast it no longer meets our need for a sense of belonging. So we are homesick even when we are at home.
Why people post on social media:
The comedian Marc Maron once wrote that â*every status update is a just a variation on a single request: âWould someone please acknowledge me?*â
Thereâs a quote from the biologist E. O. Wilson that John Cacioppoâwho has taught us so much about lonelinessâlikes: âPeople must belong to a tribe.â Just like a bee goes haywire if it loses its hive, a human will go haywire if she loses her connection to the group.
Cause three: Disconnection from meaninful values (102)
Consumerism & work:
And the pressure, in our culture, runs overwhelmingly one wayâ*spend more; work more*. We live under a system, Tim says, that constantly âdistracts us from whatâs really good about life.â We are being propagandized to live in a way that doesnât meet our basic psychological needsâ*so we are left with a permanent, puzzling sense of dissatisfaction*.
Intrinsic vs extrinsic values:
âOn Friday at four, I can stay [in my office] and work moreâor I can go home and play with my kids,â he told me. âI canât do both. Itâs one or the other. If my materialistic values are bigger, Iâm going to stay and work. If my family values are bigger, Iâm going to go home and play with my kids.â Itâs not that materialistic people donât care about their kidsâbut â*as the materialistic values get bigger, other values are necessarily going to be crowded out,â he says, even if you tell yourself they wonât*.
Advertising makes us feel bad:
Tim suspected that advertising plays a key role in why we are, every day, choosing a value system that makes us feel worse. So with another social scientist named Jean Twenge,21 he tracked the percentage of total U.S. national wealth thatâs spent on advertising, from 1976 to 2003âand he discovered that the more money is spent on ads, the more materialistic teenagers become. A few years ago, an advertising agency head named Nancy Shalek22 explained approvingly: â*Advertising at its best is making people feel that without their product, youâre a loser. Kids are very sensitive to that ⌠You open up emotional vulnerabilities, and itâs very easy to do with kids because theyâre the most emotionally vulnerable*.
Adertising and the ego:
When they talk among themselves, advertising people have been admitting since the 1920s that their job is to make people feel inadequateâand then offer their product as the solution to the sense of inadequacy they have created. Ads are the ultimate frenemyâtheyâre always saying: Oh babe, I want you to look/smell/feel great; it makes me so sad that that at the moment youâre ugly/stinking/miserable; hereâs this thing that will make you into the person you and I really want you to be. Oh, did I mention you have to pay a few bucks? I just want you to be the person you deserve to be. Isnât that worth a few dollars? Youâre worth it.
One of his proudest moments was when one of his sons came home one day and said: âDad, some kids at school are making fun of my sneakers.â They were not a brand name, or shiny-new. âOh, whatâd you say to them?â Tim asked. His son explained he looked at them and said: â*Why do you care?*â He was nonplussedâhe could see that what they valued was empty, and absurd.
Problem with shopping malls:
âBut I think part of why people are depressed is that our society is not set up in order to help people live lifestyles, have jobs, participate in the economy, [or] participate in their neighborhoodsâ in ways that support their intrinsic values. The change Tim saw happening in Florida as a kidâwhen the beachfronts were transformed into shopping malls and people shifted their attention thereâhas happened to the whole cultur
Cause four: Disconnection from childhood trauma (117)
Obesity and the real causes:
âWhen you look at a house burning down, the most obvious manifestation is the huge smoke billowing out,â he told me. It would be easy, then, to think that the smoke is the problem, and if you deal with the smoke, youâve solved it. But âthank God that fire departments understand that the piece that you treat is the piece you donât seeâthe flames inside, not the smoke billowing out. Otherwise, house fires would be treated by bringing big fans to blow the smoke away. [And that would] make the house burn down faster.â Obesity, he realized, isnât the fire. Itâs the smoke.
turned out that for every category of traumatic experience you went through as a kid, you were radically more likely to become depressed as an adult. If you had six categories of traumatic events in your childhood, you were five times9 more likely to become depressed as an adult than somebody who didnât have any. If you had seven categories of traumatic events as a child, you were 3,100 percent more likely to attempt to commit suicide as an adult.
Depression and emotional abuse:
Curiously, it turned out emotional abuse was more likely to cause depression than any other kind of traumaâeven sexual molestation. Being treated cruelly by your parents was the biggest driver of depression, out of all these categories.
Cause five: Disconnection from status and respect (128)
After I learned about this, I began to wonderâespecially as I interviewed many depressed peopleâ*if depression is, in part, a response to the sense of humiliation the modern world inflicts on many of us*. Watch TV and youâll be told the only people who count in the world are celebrities and the richâand you already know your chances of joining either group are vanishingly small. Flick through an Instagram feed or a glossy magazine, and your normal-shaped body will feel disgusting to you. Go to work and youâll have to obey the whims of a distant boss earning hundreds of times more than you. Even when we are not being actively humiliated, even more of us feel like our status could be taken away at any moment. Even the middle classâeven the richâare being made to feel pervasively insecure. Robert had discovered that having an insecure status was the one thing even more distressing than having a low status.
Cause six: Disconnection from the natural world (136)
Cause seven: Disconnection from a hopeful or secure future (146)
Causes eight and nine: The real role of genes and brain changes (158)
Being depressed for a long time causes increased nervous activity in specific brain areas:
Because you are feeling intense pain for a long period, your brain will assume this is the state in which you are going to have to survive from now onâso it might start to shed the synapses that relate to the things that give you joy and pleasure, and strengthen the synapses that relate to fear and despair. Thatâs one reason why you can often start to feel you have become somehow fixed in a state of depression or anxiety even if the original causes of the pain seem to have passed. John
Genes and depression:
Yet there was a catch. We are all born with a genetic inheritanceâbut your genes are activated by the environment. They can be switched on, or off, by what happens to you. And Avshalom discoveredâas Professor Robert Sapolsky explainsââthat if you have a particular flavor of 5-HTT, you have a greatly increased risk of depression, but only in a certain environment.â If you carried this gene, the study showed, you were more likely to become depressedâbut only if you had experienced a terribly stressful event, or a great deal of childhood trauma. (They didnât test for most of the other causes of depression Iâve been talking about here, such as loneliness, so we donât know if they also interact with genes in this way
- Genetic inheritance: Genes can be activated or deactivated by environmental factors.
- Depression risk: Carrying a specific gene variant increases depression risk only in certain environments.
- Risk factors: Increased likelihood of depression with a stressful event or childhood trauma.
- Interaction with genes: Some causes of depression may interact with genes in a similar fashion.
Feminism in the 1950s:
Picture a 1950s housewife living before modern feminism.She goes to her doctor to say there is something terribly wrong with her. She says something like: âI have everything a woman could possibly want. I have a good husband who provides for me. I have a nice house with a picket fence. I have two healthy children. I have a car. I have nothing to be unhappy about. But look at meâI feel terrible. I must be broken inside. Pleaseâcan I have some Valium?â The feminist classics talk a lot about women like this. There were millions of women saying things just like it. And the women meant what they said. They were sincere. Yet now, if we could go back in a time machine and talk to these women, what weâd say is: You had everything a woman could possibly want by the standards of the culture. You had nothing to be unhappy about by the standards of the culture. But we now know that the standards of the culture were wrong. Women need more than a house and a car and a husband and kids. They need equality, and meaningful work, and autonomy. You arenât broken, weâd tell them. The culture is.
- Societal standards: Emphasized traditional gender roles and domesticity for women.
- Unrealistic expectations: Women felt unfulfilled despite having material comfort.
- Cultural perception: Happiness equated to having a good husband, children, and a home.
- Feminist critique: Highlighted the need for equality, meaningful work, and autonomy for women.
- Empowerment: Challenged the idea that women were inherently broken for desiring more than societal norms.
It turns out that you were more likely to hurt somebody if you believed their mental illness was the result of their biochemistry than if you believed it was the result of what had happened to them in life. Believing depression was a disease didnât reduce hostility. In fact, it increased it.
See depression as a reaction to the way we are living:
This experimentâlike so much of what I had learnedâhints at something. For a long time, we have been told there are only two ways of thinking about depression. Either itâs a moral failingâa sign of weaknessâor itâs a brain disease. Neither has worked well in ending depression, or in ending its stigma. But everything I had learned suggests that thereâs a third optionâto regard depression as largely a reaction to the way we are living
âThings have changed in psychiatry,â24 he saidâand he then explained to me two more crucial reasons why we are being told stories only about our brains and our genes. âPsychiatry has undergone a real constriction from this bio-psycho-social approach. While some people still pay lip service to it, mainstream psychiatry has become very biological.â He furrowed his brow. âItâs very problematic.â We have ended up with âa grossly oversimplified pictureâ of depression that he said âdoesnât look at social factors ⌠But at a deeper level for me, it doesnât look at basic human processes.â One reason why is that it is âmuch more politically challengingâ25 to say that so many people are feeling terrible because of how our societies now work. It fits much more with our system of âneoliberal capitalism,â he told me, to say, âOkay, weâll get you functioning more efficiently, but please donât start questioning ⌠because thatâs going to destabilize all sorts of things.â This observation fits, he believes, with the other big key reason. âThe pharmaceutical [companies] are major forces shaping a lot of psychiatry, because itâs this big, big businessâbillions of dollars,â he said. They pay the bills, so they largely set the agenda, and they obviously want our pain to be seen as a chemical problem with a chemical solution. The result is that we have ended up, as a culture, with a distorted sense of our own distress. He looked at me. The fact that âthe entire program of psychiatric research should look like [this],â he said, âis really disturbing.â
- Psychiatry evolution: Shift towards a more biological perspective on mental health.
- Critique of oversimplification: Lack of consideration for social and human processes in understanding depression.
- Political challenges: Reluctance to attribute widespread distress to societal factors due to potential disruptions in the existing system.
- Influence of pharmaceutical companies: Significant role in shaping psychiatric practices and promoting a chemical-centric approach to mental health.
- Distorted cultural perception: Results in an incomplete understanding and treatment of mental distress.
- Concerning state of psychiatric research: Emphasis on chemical solutions raises concerns about the broader approach to mental health.
Part 3: Reconnection; or, A different kind of antidepressant
The cow (172)
As I traveled in Southeast Asia meeting people in similar situations, and after I walked away from my long conversation with Derek, I began to ask myself for the first timeâWhat if we have just been defining antidepressants in the wrong way? We have thought of antidepressants solely as the pills we swallow once (or more) a day. But what if we started to think of antidepressants as something very different? What if changing the way we liveâin specific, targeted, evidence-based waysâcould be seen as an antidepressant, too? What if what we need to do now is expand our idea of what an antidepressant is?
Depression as disconnection:
Now, though, I had to answer a different question, she told me. âHow different would it be,â she said,3 âif when you went to your doctor, she âdiagnosedâ us with âdisconnectionâ?â What would happen then?
I quickly discovered that this question has been studied even less than the causes of depression and anxiety. You could fill aircraft hangars with studies of what happens in the brain of a depressed person. You could fill an aircraft with the research thatâs been conducted into the social causes of depression and anxiety. And you could fill a toy airplane with the research into reconnection.
We built this city (177)
đ Example at Koti (in Berlin)
âWe built this city. We are not the scumbags of society. We have a right to the city, because we built this neighborhood.â It wasnât the investors demanding higher rents who made this city livable, âitâs everybody.
Reconnection one: To other people (192)
For exampleâtake a group of Western friends, and show them a picture of a man addressing a crowd. Ask them to describe what they see. Then approach the next group of Chinese tourists you see, show them the same picture, and ask them to describe it. The Westerners will almost always describe the individual at the front of the crowd first, in a lot of detailâthen they describe the crowd. For Asians, itâs the other way around:2 theyâll usually describe the crowd, and then, afterward, almost as an afterthought, theyâll describe the guy at the front. Or take a picture of a little girl who is smiling broadly, in the middle of a group of other little girls who look sad. Show it to some kids and ask themâdoes this girl in the middle seem happy or sad to you? Western kids think she is happy. Asian kids think she is sad. Why? Because the Western kids have no problem isolating an individual from the group, whereas Asian kids take it for granted that if a kid is surrounded by distress, sheâll be distressed, too. In other words: in the West, we mostly have an individualistic way of looking at life. In Asia, they mostly have a collective way of looking at life.
- Western Outlook
- Focus on individual first
- Detailed observation of the individual
- Crowd described afterward
- Asian Perspective
- Focus on the group first
- Individual mentioned later, less detailed
- Interpretations of Emotions
- Western kids: Individual emotions are separate from the group
- Asian kids: Individual emotions influenced by the group’s emotions
- Underlying Philosophies
- Western: Individualism
- Asian: Collectivism
- The cultural lens affects perception and interpretation of social dynamics
Be the crowd:
But what I was being taught isâif you want to stop being depressed, donât be you. Donât be yourself.3 Donât fixate on how youâre worth it. Itâs thinking about you, you, you thatâs helped to make you feel so lousy. Donât be you. Be us. Be we. Be part of the group. Make the group worth it. The real path to happiness, they were telling me, comes from dismantling our ego wallsâfrom letting yourself flow into other peopleâs stories and letting their stories flow into yours; from pooling your identity, from realizing that you were never youâalone, heroic, sadâall along. No, donât be you. Be connected with everyone around you. Be part of the whole. Donât strive to be the guy addressing the crowd. Strive to be the crowd.
Reconnection two: Social prescribing (203)
“What matters to you?”:
He says he has learned, especially with depression and anxiety, to shift from asking âWhatâs the matter with you?â to âWhat matters to you?â If you want to find a solution, you need to listen to whatâs missing in the depressed or anxious personâs lifeâand help them to find a way to resolving this, the underlying problem.
Reconnection three: To meaningful work (215)
As I sat with Meredith and watched the bike repairs happening all around us, I remembered what I had learned from Michael Marmot, the social scientist who carried out the research into British civil servants that showed the ways in which our work can make us sick, physically or mentally. He had explained to me: Itâs not the work itself that makes you sick. Itâs three other things. Itâs the feeling of being controlledâof being a meaningless cog in a system. Itâs the feeling that no matter how hard you work, youâll be treated just the same and nobody will noticeâan imbalance, as he puts it, between efforts and rewards. And itâs the feeling of being low on the hierarchyâof being a low-status person who doesnât matter compared to the Big Man in the corner office.
Reconnection four: To meaningful values (226)
Reconnection five: Sympathetic joy, and overcoming addiction to the self (234)
Reconnection six: Acknowledging and overcoming childhood trauma (257)
Universal basic income in Canada:
In the middle of the 1970s, a group of Canadian government officials chose1âapparently at randomâa small town called Dauphin in the rural province of Manitoba. It was, they knew, nothing special to look at. The nearest city, Winnipeg, was a four-hour drive away. It lay in the middle of the prairies, and most of the people living there were farmers growing a crop called canola. Its seventeen thousand people worked as hard as they could, but they were still struggling. When the canola crop was good, everyone did wellâthe local car dealership sold cars, and the bar sold booze. When the canola crop was bad, everyone suffered. And then one day the people of Dauphin were told they had been chosen to be part of an experiment, due to a bold decision by the countryâs Liberal government. For a long time, Canadians had been wondering if the welfare state they had been developing, in fits and starts over the years, was too clunky and inefficient and didnât cover enough people. The point of a welfare state is to establish a safety net below which nobody should ever be allowed to fall: a baseline of security that would prevent people from becoming poor and prevent anxiety. But it turned out there was still a lot of poverty, and a lot of insecurity, in Canada. Something wasnât working. So somebody had what seemed like an almost stupidly simple idea. Up to now, the welfare state had worked by trying to plug gapsâby catching the people who fell below a certain level and nudging them back up. But if insecurity is about not having enough money to live on, they wondered, what would happen if we just gave everyone enough, with no strings attached? What if we simply mailed every single Canadian citizenâyoung, old, all of themâa check every year that was enough for them to live on? It would be set at a carefully chosen rate. Youâd get enough to survive, but not enough to have luxuries. They called it a universal basic income. Instead of using a net to catch people when they fall, they proposed to raise the floor on which everyone stands. This idea had even been mooted by right-wing politicians like Richard Nixon, but it had never been tried before. So the Canadians decided to do it, in one place. Thatâs how for several years, the people of Dauphin were given a guarantee: Each of you will be unconditionally given the equivalent of $19,000 U.S. (in todayâs money) by the government. You donât have to worry. Thereâs nothing you can do that will take away this basic income. Itâs yours by right. And then they stood back to see what would happen.
- Context and Selection of Dauphin
- Chosen by Canadian officials
- Random selection for a universal basic income experiment
- A small, rural, and agriculture-dependent community
- Motivation Behind the Experiment
- Existing welfare system’s shortcomings
- Persistent poverty and insecurity despite the welfare state
- The question of whether a baseline income could alleviate these issues
- Concept: Universal Basic Income
- A fixed, no-strings-attached income for all citizens
- Aimed to provide security and combat poverty efficiently
- Simplicity as the core idea: instead of plugging gaps, raise the floor
- Implementation in Dauphin
- Guarantee of a basic income equivalent to $19,000 USD today
- Income unconditional and universal
- Experiment to observe the social impact
Interpretations:
At that time, over in Toronto, there was a young economics student named Evelyn Forget, and one day, one of her professors told the class about this experiment. She was fascinated. But then, three years into the experiment, power in Canada was transferred to a Conservative government, and the program was abruptly shut down. The guaranteed income vanished. To everyone except the people who got the checksâand one other personâit was quickly forgotten. Thirty years later, that young economics student, Evelyn, had become a professor at the medical school of the University of Manitoba, and she kept bumping up against some disturbing evidence. It is a well-established fact that the poorer you are, the more likely you are to become depressed or anxiousâand the more likely you are to become sick in almost every way. In the United States, if you have an income below $20,000,2 you are more than twice as likely to become depressed as somebody who makes $70,000 or more. And if you receive a regular income from property you own, you are ten times less likely to develop an anxiety disorder than if you donât get any income from property. âOne of the things I find just astonishing,â she told me, âis the direct relationship between poverty and the number of mood-altering drugs that people takeâthe antidepressants they take just to get through the day.â If you want to really treat these problems, Evelyn believed, you need to deal with these questions. And so Evelyn found herself wondering about that old experiment that had taken place decades earlier. What were the results? Did the people who were given that guaranteed income get healthier? What else might have changed in their lives? She began to search for academic studies written back then. She found nothing. So she began to write letters and make calls. She knew that the experiment was being studied carefully at the timeâthat mountains of data were gathered. That was the whole point: it was a study. Where did it go?
Reconnection seven: Restoring the future (262)
- đ 2024-04-15 ⌠Utopia for Realists: How We Can Build the Ideal World by Rutger Bregman | Goodreads
- Dutch economic historian named Rutger Bregman. He is the leading European champion of the idea of a universal basic income.
Every now and then, Rutgerâthe leading European campaigner for a universal basic incomeâwill read a news story about somebody who has made a radical career choice. A fifty-year-old man realizes heâs unfulfilled as a manager so he quits, and becomes an opera singer. A forty-five-year-old woman quits Goldman Sachs and goes to work for a charity. âIt is always framed as something heroic,â Rutger told me, as we drank our tenth Diet Coke between us. People ask them, in awe: â*Are you really going to do what you want to do?â Are you really going to change your life, so you are doing something that fulfills you? Itâs a sign, Rutger says, of how badly off track weâve gone, that having fulfilling work is seen as a freakish exception, like winning the lottery, instead of how we should all be living*. Giving everyone a guaranteed basic income, he says âis actually all about making [it so we tell everyone]ââ*Of course youâre going to do what you want to do. Youâre a human being. You only live once. What would you want to do [instead]âsomething you donât want to do?â *â
Conclusion: Homecoming (273)
Reconnect again:
You arenât a machine with broken parts. You are an animal whose needs are not being met. You need to have a community. You need to have meaningful values, not the junk values youâve been pumped full of all your life, telling you happiness comes through money and buying objects. You need to have meaningful work. You need the natural world. You need to feel you are respected. You need a secure future. You need connections to all these things. You need to release any shame you might feel for having been mistreated.
Margret Thatcher:
When I was a child, Margaret Thatcher said, â*Thereâs no such thing as society, only individuals and their families*ââand, all over the world, her viewpoint won.